Denying the power of sex has created some of the most horrendous tragedies in our society; mass murders, rapes and suicides. Embracing the power of sex has created some of the most glorious things in our society; self-love and acceptance, bonding within communities, and ultimately creating fresh new LIFE.
The power of sex is undeniable.
It is used in media campaigns to amp up marketing ploys, it creates controversy within our families, churches and schools. It derails political campaigns and ruins reputations. Sex is such a powerful topic (which applies to EVERYONE, as we explored in my last post) and the energy it carries is so prolific is it any wonder that most of our ideologies over the ages have stemmed from governing bodies working tirelessly to condemn, quash and vilify sex? What better way to control the masses than by using one of the most powerful energies we possess? An energy that is intrinsically instilled within each and every one of us.
Learning about your sexual self is typically not an easy road to travel, especially depending on the family values you may or may not have been raised with. I know from my own personal experience that the majority of the people I’ve met have not had an open non-judgmental forum of love and support within their family or within their community to do such exploring. Quite the contrary actually; they are met with condemnation, shaming, and judgment. They are told a slew of lies about what their sexual exploration means regarding their value as a person or their ability to create and contribute to the family or to the society they are a part of, even what it means for their souls in the afterlife. They are essentially put into a sexual straight-jacket and thrown into a padded room of conformity. This sexual inoculation fosters deep-seated resentment and self-loathing, often preventing any further exploration or inquiry into the subject…this subject in which we are all collectively enrolled, whether we want to admit it or not.
There are a plethora of “reasons” as to why our parents, our guardians, our teachers and our mentors chose to sexually inoculate us in the ways that they did. Maybe that’s a topic for another post, since it is comprehensive to say the least. What I’d like to focus on today is the effect our guardians had on our sexual lives based on the choices they made, and how would your life have been different had they made more informed choices? Are you going to make better choices for the impressionable souls you may be charged with caring for? Do you have the tools with which to do so? Are you even willing to make the effort? Or has “that’s the way it has always been done” become the catch-all explanation that is most comfortable for you?
I know for myself, that I have seen the power of sex transform lives in the best and the worst ways. I have been on the receiving end of inappropriate sexual contact and non-consensual sex. It had a profound affect on my self-esteem and my future interactions with men. After a sexual assault I experienced in my early adult years, I had the equivalent of a nervous breakdown. I couldn’t sleep in my bed anymore, I slept in the bathtub (which I sometimes still do to this day) I also quit my job, I wore clothing that covered every inch of my body and after going on a binge of unbridled sexual randomness unlike anything I had ever done up to that point, I swore off of men sexually altogether…for a time. I worked with a few therapists in different modalities to bring about the healing I needed to move forward. Conversely, I have also been privy to the wonders of sex and the transformative power it has to affect people positively. In my experience, approaching someone openly and engaging them with enthusiastic kindness fosters an environment of safety that allows incredible connection and healing to take place; because sex is one of the most intimate acts a human being can partake in, the ripple effects this produces in someone’s life can be astounding. Having the ability to safely express yourself sexually and connect with another human being (even if that is YOURSELF) allows a beautiful experience of intensity and release that science has affirmed is very healthy for us.
As I grew to heal and understand my own sexual experiences and really take ownership over my sexual identity I felt empowered, which in turn helped me empower others. There’s a strength of confidence unlike much else I’ve seen, that comes with the power of seduction and sexual prowess. Finding how to best manage and use that energy is different for everyone. Regardless of how it shows up for you, taking a look at what that means for you is imperative to understanding how you view your sexuality and therefore how you relate to others in the sexual arena. On many levels, creating sexually intelligent beings is paramount to creating a healthy functioning family and society. The scale of well-being I’ve seen show up for people related to sex ranges between such extremes as happy/healthy/confident/motivated/fulfilled/ to lethargic/depressed/loathsome/abusive/damaging/ individuals and everything in between. The range of effect is limitless, the point is nevertheless that is does affect us all one way or another.
How does the power of sex affect your life? Is it a positive or a negative thing? Has that shown up to also affect other areas of your life? In a positive or negative way? Let me know where you’re at with your sexual journey in the comments below.